


Lifeboat

by The_Thot_Slayer



Series: Songfics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Implied Relationships, M/M, Self-Indulgent, Song: Lifeboat (Heathers), Songfic, kenma sings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Thot_Slayer/pseuds/The_Thot_Slayer
Summary: Kenma was nervous… he never sang in front of people, and even if he did, he never sang an original song piece.But, this song was special and it shows how he feels. It’s a bit short but he hopes it sends the message.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Songfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200761
Kudos: 10





	Lifeboat

**Author's Note:**

> Holy crap I am writing and posting a shit ton... uh yeah enjoy

Kenma was nervous… he never sang in front of people, and even if he _did_ , he never sang an _original song piece_. He was only doing this because stupid Kuro told him to.  
  
He promised him if he did this, he would pay half on the next game he wanted, and I mean… who wouldn’t take that offer??? Kenma _obviously_ took that offer (and because of that he was going to chose the most expensive game to shit on Kuro’s pockets)

But, this song was _special_ and it shows how he feels. It’s a bit short but he hopes it sends the message. 

His song is called _‘Lifeboat’_ it shows how he feels about his social anxiety, and how he is part of the ‘popular’ kids due to Kuroo and being the setter on a constantly winning volleyball team. And he can’t take that pressure of being judged all the time, so he made this song to make people understand how having a disorder that limits your sociality effects being one of the ‘popular’ ones. 

Not only that, they expect too much of him. He does something wrong they start judging him. 

So now he’s here, on the talent show, going to sing a song. He nervously pats down his outfit. 

He, at first, didn’t want to wear anything and just sing, but how can he just convey by listening? So he’s wearing long yellow pants with a white, with black stripes cardigan, the color yellow represents how his eyes are always on him (since yellow is the color you notice the fastest)

_‘Alright, Kenma, calm down… you are winning and getting that game!’_

“And now for our last contestant for the 20XX talent show is singing their own _original song_ ,” the audience oohed in surprise. “Oh~ Well isn’t that exciting! The contestant is no one other than… WHAT!”

The talking host looked at the paper in surprise. The students were whispering about what made their host act this way

“Is this true?.. Uh-huh… Yes… Oh ok… I see, ok then, our next singer is none other than 2nd-year setter from our volleyball team, Kenma Kozume!!!” for a few seconds nothing happened, everyone still digesting the fact that the most introverted kid was _willing_ to go on stage and sing. Kenma felt drops of sweat rolling down his temple and his knees started to shake.

_‘Yeah, no, I can’t do this… I think I’m going to throw up’_ he felt the vile going up to his throat, he was ready to run when he heard cheers of his name

“GO! KENMA-SAN!!!” for once in his life, he was glad he heard Lev’s obnoxious loud voice. He heard the cheers of all his teammates. He felt better now. 

He took a deep breath and walked around the curtains into the stage. People who still couldn’t believe that Kenma was participating.

“Soooo Kozume-san! Tell us about your song!” the mic was then suddenly shoved at his face.

He gulped nervously, “U-Um, well, it’s called _‘Lifeboat’_? And it, kinda, self-indulgent and conveys my feeling I guess,” 

The host hummed appreciatively. “Interesting! Well, sing when you are ready!” The host then walked off the stage and sat in one of the front rows to also watch. Kenmas eyes were trying to locate Kuroo when he found him with the team. He and Kuroo found eye contact, and Kuroo smiled and nodded confidently at him.  
  
_‘When this song is done, he will probably think I need a therapist’_

He fiddled with his headset and tapped to see if it worked, it did, he then did the intended sign to tell the one in charge of sound that he is ready, and that the music group got their sheets ready to play. 

Kenma sighed heavily one last time and opened his mouth 

_“I float in a boat_

_In a raging black ocean_

_Low in the water_

_And nowhere to go,”_

He saw how more than half of the audience stood up straighter than before he opened his mouth. His team, who _was_ the loudest, was quiet.

Kenma knew that right now, he was the center of attention.

_“The tiniest lifeboat, with people I know,”_ He felt Kuroo’s heavy stare, but he felt exuberant, he paid no mind to all the drilling stares

_“Cold, clammy, and crowded_

_The people smell desperate_ ” 

You know, if you really think about that line in volleyball… it would make sense. How desperate people would get on a volleyball game from his team and the people expecting it. Sometimes it feels like he can smell it

_“We'll sink any minute_

_So someone must go”_

The silence in the audience was astronomical, like, they were _actually_ getting his message.

Kenma grinned, they haven't even gotten to the good part. Right now it’s soft notes that make it sound like a depressing ballad, and while it _is_ a ballad… sort off, 

_“The tiniest lifeboat_

_With people, I know”_

For him, the lifeboat referencing was a really clever idea in his head. 

Kenma sighted and gets ready for the next part

_‘You practiced this,_ **_don’t cry_ ** _’_

One of the problems, when he gets in that part, is that he gets overwhelmed by the emotion that he will 80% chance he will cry

_“Everyone's pushing!_

_Everyone's fighting!_

_Storms are approaching!_

_There's nowhere to hide!!!”_

The sudden loud notes shook the theater where he was. He felt his eyes sting. Him singing this song, he was doing more movement than he has done (even _more_ in volleyball)

_“If I say the wrong thing_

_Or I wear the wrong outfit_

_They'll throw me right over the side”_

His eyes are stinging like _hell_ now… awww fuck it. 

Kenma gave up his battle to keep his tears in and let them flow freely like a waterfall, he pretended not to hear the gasps of shock on the small stadium. 

_“I'm hugging my knees_

_And the captain is pointing_

_Well, who made them captain?”_

His tears did not seem to stop… this one was one of his favorites because it could represent many things. One, it could be how his anxiety is making him the captain. Second, since he is the setter, he has control of the team and also being the brains of the whole team, so he is what Kuroo calls, The Shadow Captain. Third, the impending responsibility that he will have soon now that Kuroo has chosen him as the next captain when he graduates and leaves. 

_“Still, the weakest must go_

_The tiniest lifeboat_

_Full of people I know”_

He rubs his wet face with the end of his sweater 

_“The tiniest lifeboat_

_Full of people I know”_

He let the last note go in a longer harmony. And he stopped singing, he grabbed the edges of his sweater and tried to clean his face full of tears and snoot. When he noticed, everything was quiet.

He panicked _‘Was I bad? Did they not like it! What was I thinki-’_

He was interrupted by his volleyball team jumping and cheering louder than a lion could roar. That took all the students out of their trance and they got all up and clapped too.

Kenma felt his face get warm at the praise, the host started walking to the stage and walked to him and put him in an arm hold  
  
“Well! Wasn’t that something people! For me, Kenma, that was incredible!!! You rocked it!” Kenma shyly dropped his gaze so his bangs could cover his face.

“Now after that fabulous performance! We need the judges to choose a winner! So we will have a 20-minute intervention so the judges can choose! If people want to see the contestants that participated, you are allowed backstage! Thank you!” the host took off his earpiece and went to do some talking with the staff

Kenma took that chance to skedaddle and go backstage. He sat down in some crates and slumped exhausted 

_‘Man showing your feelings is exhausting’_

Kenma lay there for a while before straightening up and taking out his phone to play. 

The door to the backstage _slammed_ open and came pouring, the Nekoma team. Kenma sighed and put his phone away. He knew that there was no way to hide away from his volleyball team so he decided that it was better to just get it over with.

When Yaku spotted him, he ran at him at a fast speed. His team followed him and started praising him for his performance. Some had some worried glances at his bloodshot eyes and the streaks of tears that dried on his face.

Kenma wasn't used to praise that much, but he appreciated his team. After more talking with the other members of his volleyball team, the judges had already announced that they chose their winner, so all the participants had to go back to the stage. Kenma was _nervous_ even if he knew, he probably wasn't going to win, he still hoped that at least people understood the message. 

“I’ve got the envelope that has the winner of this talent show! Now for this year’s prize for winning is” The host raised 3 fingers. 

“For 3rd place! They will get a…” _drumroll_ “before I say what the price is!” cue frustrated groaning

“I want to thank our sponsors who are the ones who made the prizes to the winners. Back to the script! Our 3rd place will get a... Bike!”

The crowd ooh’s at the prize

“And the winner is-” Kenma fidgeted in his step… he didn’t care as long as he got top three

“Imada Masashi! With her amazing dance” said girl went up to the stage to get her prize, the girl looked happy but she had a dash of bitterness in her eyes

The announcer grabbed the next envelope as the backstage gave him a card

“The 2nd place, a 3270 Yen gift card! Wow isn’t that amazing!” people looked at each other and looked at the producer to just tell them to the winner.

Kenma doesn’t care, 3270 Yen is a lot of money and he would take it… he wants to win. His Volleyball team has also caught on to his anxiety and were fidgeting and biting their nails.

“The winner is… Hironaka Shigeo! With his comedy skit! That you for giving me a good laugh Hironaka-san!” the boy looked happy as he was getting his bike.

“Honestly, I’m glad that I got this bike, I wanted a bike for so long!” Hironoka went to the corner with the other winner happy with the results. 

Kenma started to sweat, his eyes started stinging from incoming tears. 

“And the moment you all been waiting for!!! The prize for 1st prize will be… 2 tickets to the Kachi Takai for all three days with a stay at a hotel! And also a VIP pass so you could meet the guests! Wow, this is amazing! I guess the school wanted to go all out!”

The crowd went crazy, the Kachi Takai is known as one of the most amazing cons, they have things like anime, gaming, movies, _everything_. It was one of that once-in-a-lifetime thing, whoever won this was _very_ lucky.

Kenma eyes widen and his heart quickened, all of his favorite gamers were going to be at the Kachi Takai, he always wanted to go there! He has been saving money since he was 11 just to go there _once_. He really wants this prize. There were only him and 3 other people. They all looked and glared at each other but all three collectively glared at him.

_They’re intimidated_

“The winner is…” everybody was on the edge of their seats, his team started chanting his name and a few stray students joined them. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The commenter opened the envelope and gasped. 

“Well, isn’t this a surprise! But not unwelcome!”

“Just hurry up and tell us!!!”

“Jeez! I’m going!” 

The commenter cleared his throat and said

“Alright! The winner for 1st place is none other than!”

Time seemed to slow down for Kenma, his stomach was full of dread and nervousness, his team as well, he was biting his nails and fidgeting with the cuff of the sweater. 

“Kenma Kozume!!!”

Kenma looked dumbfounded as there was a pop from confetti, a sash was put around his shoulders and a big check thing was given to him. His team's cheers were deafening. He was able to hear Lev’s loud sobbing and Yaku’s screams… everyone is screaming. The three boys next to him glared at him and left the stage.

_‘_ _Geez, sore losers, can accept that I won-... wait… I won! I won!! I won!!!’_

Kenma smiled until his cheeks hurt.

“Kenma Kozume, with his emotional original song won the judges' hearts and gave this prize to you. Thank you all for coming to this talent show, and I hope you all have a good day! Please leave in an orderly order, I am Kaise Shōkin, and thank you for coming.”

Kenma, still in his high, didn’t see Kuroo coming at him at neck-break speed and hugged the living shit out of him. His team followed the pace.

“Congrats, Kenma-san!, to be honest, I didn’t think you would win” Lev chimed in with a smile

Yaku glared at him and kicked him in the back of his legs.

“Lev you-”

Kenma laughed, a silky, small laugh.

The Nekoma team looked at him in wonder and joined in his laughing. 

“It’s alright, Yaku, I honestly thought I wasn’t going to win either”

* * *

After a bit of celebrating, and his parents just hogging him saying that they are so proud of him, the Nekoma team went home. Kuroo was the only one that stayed. 

“Sooooo, are you happy Kenma?”

Kenma scoffed and turned to look at Kuroo.

“Duh. This is a dream come true” he looked down at the two tickets in his hands, still having them in his palm. 

Kuroo laughed and wrapped his arm around Kenma’s shoulder and brought him close.

The silence between them was comfortable, Kuroo looked down fondly at Kenma and said.  
  
“Kenma… I’m proud of you” 

Kenma looked at Kuroo, who was looking away and smiled.

“Do you have any plans?”

Kuroo looked confused.

“No, not really, why?”

Kenma smirked.

“Want to be my +1?”

Kuroo looked at him in surprise before smiling back, he slyly grabbed Kenma and plopped him in his lap. 

“Hell yeah”

* * *

“I’m going to call a therapist for you”

“I knew you were going to say that!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Date: 3/8/2021  
> Word Count: 2430


End file.
